I agree with sid that it's mainly learned, but to add to that, I think part of what happens with using these sorts of words is the act is -intended- to be offensive. We're angry, we want to express that anger, and using forbidden words, or using acceptable words in forbidden ways, does the job in a way that doesn't involve actually breaking things or other riskier actions. For that purpose, an oath of damnation, whether believed in or not, can work just as well as any regular swear word.

Actually, I know a few atheists who started not directly because of the theology of believers, but because of the actions of those believers based on their theology. Heck, that was definitely part of it for me early on. Once I allowed myself to commit what you might call false heresy by questioning said theology, I realized that I had the freedom to question and answer for myself all aspects of Christian theology.

Hypocrisy and fanaticism are the fastest ways to drive anyone away from any faith.

What hills can you die on and how?

I couldn't agree more with your statement that “…the church has done more damage to people's faith than a thousand million Dawkins/Darwins/Hitchens”.

I sympathize with pushing for something of a hiatus on the “heresy” word, but I'm curious, what's your prescription for engaging disagreements when they are encountered specifically within our faith communities?

And I say that as a dirty heathen.