Reposted from an article written 01/08/07

I have the above affixed to a lined black corduroy shirt that I wear as a jacket. My mom got it from ThinkGeek for Christmas. Last night I was picking up some late night groceries and was sporting aforementioned shirt as it was cool and misty out. The cashier asked me if I was one of those GeekSquad folks. I replied that I wasn’t, but did indeed geek for a living. I thought briefly that I should tell her that I was a geek of the circus variety but I have a feeling that would have been lost on her. She then asked if I minded if she asked me a question. Rather than replying that she just had, I replied in the negative. She asked me if she had to have digital cable in order to get Road Runner’s high speed internet. I told her that I didn’t think so and satisfied that I had done my duty I walked out into the night, not entirely certain that I was correct.

Whether I was right or not, this phenomenon struck me as interesting. Prior to that I had been in the recent past asked more than a few times about television technology by folks that know I’m a geek of the computer variety. It struck me then that people believe that geeks know about anything that plugs into a wall. It’s been said (first by Arthur C. Clarke) that “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” And to most individuals their computer, television, telephone, and most any gizmo invented in the last decade or so is just that, magic. That makes geeks like me seers, wisemen, magi, druids, keepers of secrets. Without us most folks think that they would be unable to perform even the most basic of functions.
I’m sure a lot of it boils down to fear. Because of the fear factor, on any given day I’ll be asked to do something that could have been easily been solved by the person who called me if they had done something like press the F1 key. When I try to explain how they might be able to help themselves they often reply “Magic. Got it.” I’m not complaining mind you. It keeps my kids in clothes and me in beer vouchers. And the fear is valid. When you spend some serious money on tech you don’t want to risk screwing it up.
So seeking help is good and in seeking out help from amongst my brethren you will want to be aware of the geek power spectrum. First you have the sales associate at the big box store. They tend to be the modern day equivalent of a DnD bard, a jack of all trades. To finish that out though, that often means that they don’t have any mastery. They know enough to make that sale and push that extended warranty. I know. I’ve been there. And I’m not bagging on the sales guys. Some have very potent geek-fu in their own areas, but unless they are certified in some fashion you’ll want to exercise caution and do your research.
Then you have folks like me. I’ll be honest; I don’t know the first thing about the tech behind TV’s, DVD players, cameras, or cell phones. Okay, maybe the first thing or even the first few things. I do have a smattering of the vocabulary, enough to pass me off as a hedge wizard (to abuse the analogy a bit) I suppose. But I am not a generalist, computers are my bag and I know them pretty well. Just don’t ask for my help on your home theater. These are the guys that might do the actual tech support at Best Buy or your very own workplace.
The culmination of the spectrum is the “wise old man”. The further you get in this business, the more arcane and specialized your knowledge often becomes. You probably know one of these guys from where you work. They run the network or mind the servers. But I know that after a while you begin to loose some of your former skillz (no matter how l33t you may be) to make room for higher level spells. These are the wizards in the ivory tower. Don’t make these guys mad.
All of these geeks will probably be tempted to try and answer your question. It’s not that we want to lead people astray on purpose. Most of us love to be a help and it’s pretty cool to be looked up to for a change. Geeks were often outcasts once upon a time and being in a place of power and influence is cool. But that dark side is a seductive thing. The admiration can go to your head.
So let this be a warning to you non-geeks out there. You want your geek to have a skill set that lines up with your problem. In an age where information is a click away (right next to a sea of misinformation) and where anyone can pass themselves of as an expert, if you’re looking for a Merlin to fix your magic box make sure you don’t wind up with a Rincewind.