Fair to Middlin' - digg this
So when I was five years old I remember going to the zoo. I had woken up that morning with some intense shoulder pain and couldn't stand straight. My Dad, prince and military man that he was, kept on me about it. "Stand up straight or we're leaving and never coming back," he said. Well I didn't and we didn't. Come to find out I had broken my collarbone the night before by falling out of bed. In case you've never had a broken collarbone, let me tell you it's not very comfortable. He never apologized.
If you enjoyed this entry subscribe to this blog by email or feed readerFlash forward to this weekend. Our oldest wanted to go on a ride at the county fair. She was having a hard time deciding, as seven year olds are wont to do. Finally I had had enough of her indecision. I was hot, tired, and had a sunburn on my forehead. I told her that it was either the bumper cars (her last choice) or nothing. She took the bumper cars.
She got on, uncertain and barely able to reach the steering wheel. She looked a little scared and fairly miserable. After getting bumped around a bit and having little or no clue how to make her car go, in spite of my angrily shouted instructions, she got off. They shut down the ride so that she could take the exit. I was, well I suppose I was embarrassed, for me, for her, who knows which? I know I was angry. I berated her. I shamed her. Though I don't remember all of the things I said, I'm pretty sure that she will one day.
I hope that she'll also remember that the next day I took her into my arms and told her how sorry I was. I encouraged her not to give up when things where hard or scary. I told her that next time we went we'd find a ride that was more age appropriate. Not in so many words, I promised that I wouldn't fail her the way my dad had failed me.
Oh I fail my children and my wife several times a week at least, usually in little ways, sometimes in great big ones. In that way I’m no different. I don't see that changing any time soon. So I don't know that that's a promise I can keep, but I'll try. Admitting shortcomings to anyone, especially to someone who should think you incapable of wrongdoing, is hard. We owe that to the people we love though, to do the hardest things. In my case that’s sacrificing pride. What does that look like for you?
Total Number of Comments: 4
What a beautiful, honest and transparent story Scott. You are learning a great lesson that I didn't learn until my daughter was much older and my shaming was much deeper ... though over the years I have tried to take those words back ... my daughter and I are not very close. That lesson for me is to not judge my children (no matter how bad they blow it) and to always believe the best about them ... they tend to ascend or descend to what we believe about them.
Thanks Bob. Better to learn those lessons late than not at all.
Hey Scott,
You're not perfect? This changes everything I thought about you! How can you do this to me?
Seriously though, I think you handled your error very well. You recognized it and apologized for it. No one can ask more of you. Good job.
Thanks Sid old bean.