I know that I do. The cynic in me loves to see them crush their enemies. Of course another side of me loves to see them crack and show some humanity. On House the end of "Lines in the Sand" seems to have Gregory House hoping that he can blame his behavior on Asperger's Syndrome. Sebastian Stark, the lawyer in Shark (played by the scenery destroying James Woods), is learning to love his daughter. The end of an early episode has him join her in painting her room. In spite of these glimmers though, they remain hardened and bitter.

For me I suppose it's good to see that someone more fallible than I am, to cartoonish levels, can still do some good. This seems to fly in the face of the fact that the Bible teaches that no one can do good. Of course like I said before "doing good" depends a lot on your intentions. Both of these men are doing good for utterly selfish reasons. House desires to prove his brilliance. Stark wants to atone for his past sins, but he's not willing to change his methods. So when I root for these men it's for my own selfish reasons. I say, "Surely I'm a better person than they are." Ultimately though, I'm not.

I try and lift myself up by putting other people down. All too often when I help someone it's in hopes that someone will notice me and give me a pat on the back. And much like Stark, when I have a breakthrough and recognize that I've been an ass, I try to reform myself. I slap a fresh coat of paint over the old dirt. That has never worked and never will.

Thankfully God can redeem the acts that my best intentions doom. He can use the good that I try to do. He can even use those instances of arrogance to his own glory. Like Joseph tells his brothers "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." (Gen 50:20) So don't get discouraged. Cheer up ! You're worse than you think you are, but God is ultimately bigger than you think He is.